it has only been a few hours since i've been back home in dallas, after over a 7 hour drive from padre this morning... feeling the splotchy pain emcompassing the burnt parts of my skin. i am extra crispy today.

it feels so good... to get away... being able to spend 4 days at the beach... away from the rest of the world it seems. the problem with that is... as soon as i get back... i've realized what i've missed and how much the world continues to move without me.

i just learned that a bus, supposedly driving dangerously fast, by a driver, supposedly been convicted of driving intoxicated before, ran by company that has not properly maintained its vehicles, crashed on friday morning just north of dallas. the victims, all vietnamese families... mothers and sons. and i feel compelled to cry for the 17 dead and over 30 injured... all heading to the catholic retreat in carthage, missouri.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/hotstories/5935397.html

prayers go out to all their families and friends.

you see... reading about something like this touches me closely. i've been to those churches in houston. my parents went to the retreat this year... it could have easily been my parents in that bus. it could have been any of my hundreds of relatives. it might still be. missouri is a place we all go to. i use to go to it annually. and i get angry to see so many people go there to be disrespectful. they do not understand what people actually go through to go there... to feel spiritual... to be near family from all over the united states. we never ever want anything that tragic to hit so close to home. something as simple as a weekend trip can easily turn so deadly. all i can say is love your family. love your friends. cherish your times together.

you see... that accident brought back memories to me. that accident really does hit home. when i was 17, i took a trip to carthage, missouri also. and i never made it there. i remember it was early morning in oklahoma, and the rain was slightly covering the roads. my car hydroplaned and spun off the road. i hit a billboard and bounced into a ditch a quarter mile down the road. i remember seeing everything flow in slow motion, the windows shattering, things flying around and out of the car. i remember climbing out of the car, standing in that ditch... seeing if my cousin and his girlfriend was ok. they were fine with nothing about a few scratches from the broken glass. i didn't even notice the cut that ran down my face from my forehead to my chin until the ambulance came. my lips were busted, but that was the last thing on my mind. i remember the feel of the morning rain falling down on me as i saw something that could have been completely worst. when the cops came and after they investigated, they told me that if the car hit the billboard any differently, the car would have splitted and i could have easily been dead.

try saying that to yourself. that you could have easily been dead. and now tell me if that doesn't motivate you to appreciate life, to be optimistic, to cherish every moment. to want to leave an imprint on the world. to learn that doing something as simple as a few simple drawings can mean so much to so many people.

if you don't, then you don't realize that you have a gift that at least 17 people have lost this weekend.