I miss the parts of me that makes me whole... and I miss the parts of me that makes you smile with thoughts of me.

Thirty... such a dirty number. Something I cannot avoid I guess. As much as I try to fight it, deny it, ignore it... it hits me... like a ton of bricks on my chest. Growing up... feeling like I'm losing myself with every extra minute that passes through my fingers like sand. I miss who I was, the poet, the artist, the romantic, the hopeless. Now, I only see myself as the one who doesn't have time for himself. Make time for himself. No more. That's my birthday present to myself. To be more selfish. Forget those who do not appreciate me, and focus on me. So I close my eyes, and blow out the candles to the cake that never was.

I know this sounds like a depressing post, especially since I haven't been on xanga in months. It's not. It's about empowerment. About knowing what you want and taking the time to pursue it. What I want... is to be Jonny Angel once again... create visual pieces of art that represents who I am... for myself... and for you... because I miss knowing that when you need me, all you need to do is come here, read this... and smile. Because I forgot that sometimes it is all it takes. Sometimes, it's as simple as letting you know that I put these letters together, to form words... to send a message... just for you.